My wife and I were cuddling and watching television a few nights ago and she was complimenting me on how skinny I looked. She started reminiscing on the days when I used to be morbidly obese and the “experiences” we were subjected to on a regular basis because of my weight.
I told her I didn’t remember too much from my days of obesity, as if my brain had blocked it out of my memory to protect me. My wife seemed offended by this, perhaps thinking how I didn’t appreciate how much things had changed.
She posed a series of questions to me to help me remember:
Do you remember what it was like to have to sit in a booth at a restaurant because you were too self-conscious to sit at an open table?
Do you remember having to sit at a table because the booth was too small?
Do you remember having to wedge yourself into a movie theater seat?
Do you remember at the concert last Christmas not being able to fit into the seats at all? Your stomach was hanging over both armrests.
Do you remember having to drive to specialty stores to buy your clothes?
Do you remember White Water and having to keep your shirt on?
Do you remember having to wear shorts to go swimming because we couldn’t find any bathing suits your size?
Do you remember when you stopped breathing in your sleep (apnea)?
These questions quickly helped me remember what it was like living with obesity. They made me remember why short-term pain and long-term gain is a good choice to make. They made me realize why I choose fruits and vegetables over a bag of grease and why I go to the gym almost every night.
They made remember what it was like to die a little every day.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember the chest pains, heart burn and trying to find that perfect angle so I could tie my shoes.
The chest pains — while I remember those now, my wife doesn’t. I never told her much about those. I would have little pricks in my chest pretty much daily.
I can’t wait for the day that I can forget all that. Thanks for the post Tyler.
It’s only a matter of time.
Wow, T. That line about dying a little every day hit me hard. That is exactly how it feels. You nailed it. Another great post. Thanks.
It’s dying a little everyday because I was killing myself everyday. A cheeseburger at 200 pounds isn’t nearly as detrimental as a cheeseburger at 344 pounds.
I can really relate to the movie theaters and seating at any restaurant. I’ve lost found pounds in the last two weeks and been faithful to my exercise. Still have work to do on my diet. I’ve found that I’m pretty good during the day but struggle more when I get home. Was that something you faced early on as well?
I still face that today. Routine, at work, when I’m around other people is when it’s the easiest to stick onto a diet. Just last night I wanted popcorn and a soda because I was by myself, warm inside, watching football.
Just resist the temptation.
I remember not being able to buckle my seatbelt on an airplane and having to ask for an extender – which was never given to me before take-off. I remember not being able to walk up or down stairs without extreme shortness of breath. I remember severe hip pain. I remember hunting for the biggest bathing suit to cover myself up in the summer – and covering up with a huge bathing suit cover up too. I remember having to shop in the plus section of the store and having to buy the largest size. I remember when the largest scrubs at work were too tight.
Somehow, I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
(160 lbs lost)
Timely, Tyler. Great post indeed. Every one of those hits home with me right now…
Ouch. No wonder you blocked that stuff out in your mind.
Unfortunately I’m still very much living w/ obesity, so I still deal w/ alot of issues. I do remember being thin(ner) though, and that gives me something to work towards.
Tyler, that made me cry a little.
Aw :*( that made me sad to read that. I’m sorry you went through those experiences. I’m glad you will no longer go through them again – and you have inspired SO MANY people to make healthier choices.
That’s intense. It’s intense that your brain encouraged you to forget all that– funny how we do that, isn’t it?
Great reminder! It’s good to remember how bad it was because sometimes, it’s easy to forget how life used to be. I remember not liking chairs (selfconscious) or booths (sometimes too tight). I remember not liking airplanes (always feeling like I was crowding my neighbor).
BTW, how often does your wife call you “boney” now?
What a good wife, cheerleader, and friend she is to have reminded you of those things. None of us wants to face the fact that being morbidly obese, no matter how “fine” you may feel now, IS dying a little each day. I love that your wife reminded you.
And I love that you reminded us!
I have already begun to notice tiny changes in my body and I can’t wait until I can look back at photos or memories and think “I will never be that way again.”
You can also read your first few posts if you need reminders. The motivation to change became the motivation to keep a status quo.
Oh me…I will NEVER forget those movie/concert seats. One time I went to a wrestling event and I had a RING around myself from sitting in the seat for 3 hours…it hurt so bad…literally bruising…ugh!
Tyler, the more I read about your story, the more I am convinced that you NEED to write all of this down in book format. The things you talk about regarding weight loss go beyond the actual weight loss and delve into the psychological side of it much more than I’ve read about previously. I think that people going through this type of thing need that kind of support, both positive and negative. Either that, or you’d make a great therapist to people in the same situation, because you’ve been there and have the ability to really let your feelings fly. I hope to see you on the shelves soon.
And now you’re living a little more.
Loved this post, Tyler.
You think movie theatre seats are bad – I was flying 3-4 times a month when I was pushing 300, and it was always a humiliating experience. And I’m a huge Disney fan, and get to go to the parks often living in SoFla, but so embarrassing to not fit into a ride. I’ll never forget those things. I’m thrilled that I can fit into a restaurant booth comfortably now.
I love the idea of a book. I think you’ve got a great story to tell. Sure, lots of us take the journey, but something about yours has both captivated and inspired hundreds (thousands?) of us along the way. That what’s makes it so special :-)
What’s coming in 2010?
I’m not losing weight currently b/c I’m pregnant, but I lost 30 lbs before. I remember having to ask for seatbelt extenders on airplanes. I was slightly horrified the first time, then it just… was what it was. I don’t have to do that anymore!
I remember not being able to do activities with my family.
I kind of remember……… Years of my life are a fog because I was so unhealthy. I remember not being able to ride the Shock Wave at Kinds Dominion because I couldn’t fit in it. Holding my breath when I tied my shoes because I couldn’t breath. Being a recluse because I was so embarrassed to leave the house.